


Text me with that gay shit

by JacobiBear



Category: Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six (Video Games)
Genre: Chatting & Messaging, Eventual Relationships, F/F, F/M, I Don't Even Know, M/M, Memes, Tags Are Hard, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-04
Updated: 2019-05-04
Packaged: 2019-09-16 02:35:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,727
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16945350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JacobiBear/pseuds/JacobiBear
Summary: Wholesome: OwO*Markimoo has removed Wholesome from the chat*Markimoo: blocked and reportedDokidok: how even? your not admin??Markimoo: I have my ways





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! I hope you all enjoy this. I'm not even sure where this idea came from I just thought a text fic would be cool. Anyways enjoy. Comments and suggestions would be highly appreciated. Enjoy.

_Grace Nam has added Mark Chandler, Marius Streicher, Emmanuelle Pichon, and Masaru Enatsu to the chat_

 

_Grace Nam has named the chat Festive Hoes_

 

_Grace Nam has changed their name to Dokidok_

 

_Dokidok has changed Mark Chandler's name to Markimoo_

 

_Dokidok has changed Marius Streichers name to Jägerchen_

 

_Dokidok has changed Emmanuelle's name to Baguette_

 

_Dokidok has changed Masaru Enatsu's name to weeb_

 

_Markimoo has changed their name to Mark_

 

_Dokidok has changed Mark's name to Markimoo_

 

_Markimoo has changed their name to Mark_

 

_Dokidok has changed Mark's name to Markimoo_

 

 **Markimoo** : Slut 

 

 **Dokidok** : Bitch

 

 **Jägerchen** : What is this? 

 

 **Dokidok** : a group chat obviously

 

 **Jägerchen** : But why? 

 

 **Dokidok** : cause I can

 

 **Markimoo** : how the fuck did you get my number

i blocked your ass on everything

 

 **Dokidok** : I have my resources

 

 **Markimoo** : James gave it to you

 

 **Dokidok** : James gave it to me

 

 **Baguette** : rip

 

 

 **Markimoo - > WhAtSiNtHeCaNiStEr**  _5:00pm_

 

 **Markimoo** : burn in hell

 

 

 **Festive Hoes**   _5:07pm_

 

 **Dokidok:** ok but guys I made this chat so we can get to know each other better because SOME of us *cough*mark*cough* are an antisocial little bitch

 

 **Markimoo** : IS IT A CRIME TO WANT TO BE LEFT ALONE

 

 **Dokidok** : yes

 

 **Baguette** : yes

 

 **Jägerchen** : yes

 

 **weeb** : yes

 

 **Markimoo** : im 26 im allowed to do what I want

 

 **Dokidok** : not anymore

 

 **Markimoo** : tc6txyrc7rd6

 

 **Dokidok** : anyway let's start with something simple.

sexualities?? im pan, single, and ready to mingle

 

 **Markimoo** : how is this a simple question? 

 

 **Dokidok** : shut up and answer the question

 

 **Jägerchen** : bi and ready to die

 

 **Baguette** : hi I'm a lesbian

 

 **weeb** : I thought you french

            Also bi

 

 **Dokidok** : Mark

 

 **Markimoo** : no

 

 **Dokidok** : maaarrrrkkkkkkk

 

 **Markimoo** : fine. I'm gay happy

 

 **Dokidok** : very much so

 

 

 **GCS9** _6:02pm_

 

 **Bandit** : who the fuck ate all the pizza bites? 

 

 **Jägerchen** : whoopsie

 

 **IQ** : jäjer ate them all so what? 

 

 **Bandit** : HE PUT THE EMPTY BOX BACK IN THE FREEZER

 

 **IQ:** oh well then

       It was an honor serving with u jäger

        May your soul rest in piece

 

 **Blitz** : Wait what's happening? 

 

 **Bandit** : jäger is a dead man

 

 **Jägerchen** : blitz help me! 

 

 **Bandit** : nobody is going to save you jägerchen

              say bye to your parents and your friends

 

 **Blitz** : Stop. Nobody is killing anybody. 

 

 **Bandit** : watch me

 

 

 **Festive Hoes**  6:10pm

 

 **Jägerchen** : it was an honor knowing you all

 

 

 

 **Jägerchen - > Fuze** _6:11pm_

 

Jägerchen: I love you

 

 

 

 **Festive Hoes** _6:30pm_

 

 **Baguette** : lol rip jäger

 

 

_7:45pm_

 

 **Jägerchen** : I LIVE

 

 **Markimoo** : goddammit

 

 **Jägerchen** : rude

 

 **Baguette** : what happened anyway? 

 

 **Jägerchen** : i ate all the pizza bites

 

 **Markimoo** : and that's worth murder? 

 

 **Jägerchen** : for Dom yes

 

 **Dokidok** : i would murder for pizza bites

 

 **Markimoo** : of course u would

 

 **Dokidok** : would it kill u to be nice for once?? 

 

 **Markimoo** : too you, yes

 

 **Baguette** : toasted, grilled, burnt to a crisp

 

 **Dokidok** : queen :(

 

 **Baguette** : sorry

 

 

 

 **Dokidok - > Dad 1** _8:00pm_

 

 **Dokidok** : your son is being mean to me

 

 **Dad 1** : Which one? 

 

 **Dokidok** : the antisocial one

 

 

 

 **Dad 1 - > Markimoo** _8:02pm_

 

 **Dad 1:** Be nice

 

 **Markimoo** :?? 

 

 

 

 **Festive Hoes**   _8:03pm_

 

 **Markimoo** : did u seriously text Mike?? 

 

 **Dokidok** : yus

 

 **weeb** : lmao

 

 **Markimoo** : what are you five? 

 

 **Dokidok** : maybe so

 

 **Markimoo** : im surrounded by idiots

 

 **Baguette** : I have a masters in engineering?? 

 

 **Markimoo** : I graduated primary school when I was 12?? 

 

 **Baguette** : touché

 

 **weeb** : heres a question whos the better hacker

 

 **Markimoo** : me obviously

 

 **Dokidok** : bitch excuse me? 

 

 **Markimoo** : your excused

 

 **Dokidok** : you don't even hack?? 

 

 **Markimoo** : are you sure about that

 

 **Dokidok** : ive never seen you

 

 **Markimoo** : I don't do it as often. Only when Mike needs info

 

 **Dokidok** : i see

 

 **Baguette** : hey can I add rook? He wants in on the fun. 

 

 **Markimoo** : what fun

 

 **Dokidok** : go ahead

 

_Baguette has added Julien Nizan to the chat_

 

_Dokidok has changed Julien Nizan's name to wholesome_

 

 **Wholesome** : OwO

 

_Markimoo has removed Wholesome from the chat_

 

 **Markimoo** : blocked and reported

 

 **Dokidok** : how even? your not admin?? 

 

 **Markimoo** : I have my ways

 

_Jägerchen has added Wholesome to the chat_

 

 **Wholesome** : Mark, why? 

 

 **Markimoo** : furries are not allowed in this chat

 

 **Dokidok** : says who

 

 **Markimoo** : says me

 

 **Wholesome** : Anyway hi

 

 **weeb** : what's good my dude

 

 **Jägerchen** : thanks for saving my ass earlier

 

 **Wholesome** : No problem :) 

 

 **Baguette** : why was bandit trying to kill you anyway

 

  **Jagerchen:** scroll

 

 **Baguette:** too lazy

 

 **Jägerchen** : i ate all the pizza bites

 

 **Markimoo** : stupid reason

 

 **Jägerchen** : then put the empty box back in the freezer just to piss him off

 

 **Dokidok** : you naughty boy

 

 **Wholesome** : UwU

 

 **Markimoo** : NO

 

 **Wholesome** : :(

 

 

 **SAS Boys** _8:54pm_

 

 **Dad 1** : So, how was everyone's day 

 

 **WhAtsInThEcAnIsTeR** : splendid

 

 **VodkaAunt** : fine I guess

 

 **Markimoo** : horrible

 

 **Dad 1** : Is making friends really that bad? 

 

 **Markimoo** : it is when Grace is involved

                     by the way fuck you james

 

 **WhAtsInThEcAnIsTeR** : lol

 

 **Dad 1:** Language

 

 **Markimoo** : im 26?? 

 

 **Dad 1:** I'm your superior. 

 

 **Markimoo** : right

 

 **Dad 1** : Anyway get some sleep lads. Tomorrow is training day

 

 **Markimoo** : again? 

 

 **Dad 1:** Yes, now shut up and go to bed

 

 **Markimoo** : >:(

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Missing pills and game talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oof so I completely forgot about this. I was just looking through my notes today and stumbled upon this. Sorry about that guys. So enjoy this very late chapter 2 I guess.

Serious Business Chat *6:05am*

Dad 2: @bandit My office now. 

bandit: why? 

Dad 2: You know why. 

bandit: I actually don't

Dad 2: My 16oz bottle of pain killers is missing. Know anything about that? 

bandit: and you assume I took it? I did no such thing

Dad 2: Don't lie to me. 

Blitz: Dominic you promised me that you'd try to stay clean. I'm disappointed :(

bandit: I DID NOTHING

Dad 1: Brunsmeier, getting into trouble again? Did you learn nothing from your last punishment

WhAtSiNtHeCaNiStEr: stop grilling the lad hes been with me since yesterday. 

Dad 2: Really? 

WhAtSiNtHeCaNiStEr: yes. I can confirm he has not swiped any pills

bandit: thank you james

 

Festive Hoes *8:09am*

Baguette: lmao bandit getting rolled in the main chat. 

Jägerchen: he deserves it

Dokidok: wut I want to know is what he was doing with smoke

Baguette: @Markimoo

Markimoo: how should I know? ask him urself

Dokidok: good idea

 

*Dokidok has added WhAtSiNtHeCaNiStEr to the chat*

Dokidok: yo

WhAtSiNtHeCaNiStEr: what

Dokidok: what were u and bandit doing together for a whole day? 

WhAtSiNtHeCaNiStEr: none of your business

Dokidok: don't be like that :(

Baguette: give us the info

Jägerchen: as long as he's away from me I don't care

WhAtSiNtHeCaNiStEr: sorry lads can't tell ya

Dokidok: pff what are y'all dating or something? 

Markimoo: y'all

Baguette: y'all

weeb: y'all 

Jägerchen: y'all

Wholesome: y'all

Dokidok: not you too rook 

Jägerchen: I don't think Dom is capable of having a relationship

Baguette: you never know. Smoke?? 

WhAtSiNtHeCaNiStEr: no were not dating

 

WhAtSiNtHeCaNiStEr -> bandit *8:11am*

WhAtSiNtHeCaNiStEr: there onto us

bandit: shit

WhAtSiNtHeCaNiStEr: well not onto onto us but there definitely suspicious

bandit: that is fine I guess. thank you for earlier

WhAtSiNtHeCaNiStEr: no problem love. I wasn't just gonna sit there and let them falsely accused you. I wish they would stop assuming your the reason for everything that goes wrong. 

bandit: it's my own fault they think that way of me

WhAtSiNtHeCaNiStEr: still if they actually sat down and talked to you they'd find out that your a great guy

bandit: stop. don't start with that sappy shit

WhAtSiNtHeCaNiStEr: it's true tho <3

bandit: ugh whatever

 

Festive Hoes *8:17am*

Baguette: I'm bored

Dokidok: same

 

Official Business Chat *8:30am*

Dad 2: Well if Bandit didn't take my pills who did? Because that bottle was their yesterday morning. 

Markimoo: @VodkaAunt 

VodkaAunt: Oh yeah, that's my fault. 

Dad 2: Sledge? Your the last person I would have thought of. 

VodkaAunt: In my defense, I was really drunk. 

Markimoo: he was wasted

Dad 2: What did you do? 

VodkaAunt: Long or short version? 

Dad 2: Short please. 

VodkaAunt: Ok, long story short I hurt myself doing something I really don't want to explain, so I took the pills to mask the pain. 

Dad 2: YOU DID WHAT

Markimoo: I'm surprised your not dead tbh

Meatstro: I'm sorry you did what? 

VodkaAunt: I honestly feel fine. 

Dad 2: I don't care. My office now. 

Meatstro: Listen to the doctor amore

VodkaAunt: Fine. I'm on my way. 

 

GCS9 *9:03am*

*Dokidok has added Dokidok to the chat.*

Jägerchen: what? 

*Dokidok has changed bandits name to Thor*

Thor: who is Thor? 

*Dokidok has changed IQ's name to Thicc*

*Dokidok has changed Blitz's name to Sunshine*

*Dokidok has left the chat*

Sunshine: What just happened? 

Thor: ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 

Festive Hoes *9:06 pm*

Jägerchen: I am slightly worried

Wholesome: why? 

Jägerchen: if grace can just add herself to any chat she wants what else can she do. 

Dokidok: (＾ω＾)

*Markimoo has removed Dokidok from the chat*

*Dokidok has added Dokidok to the chat.*

Dokidok: again how even?? 

Markimoo: I have my ways

Dokidok: I will learn ur secrets

*WhAtSiNtHeCaNiStEr has left the chat*

*Markimoo has added WhAtSiNtHeCaNiStEr to the chat*

Markimoo: suffer with me

Dokidok: so I have another question for everyone

Markimoo: dear god

Dokidok: favorite video games?? I need some gaming buddies. 

weeb: Fortnite

Jägerchen: ew you scrub

Dokidok: lol

weeb: oh yeah? Hbu then

Jägerchen: overwatch get on my level

Dokidok: *gasp* me toooo

weeb: nah too toxic for me

Jägerchen: you prob just suck at the game

weeb: no! 

Baguette: I play overwatch sometimes

Dokidok: Mark? 

Markimoo: I may play overwatch from time to time

WhAtSiNtHeCaNiStEr: what do you mean you practically stay up all night playing that game

Baguette: oof exposed

Markimoo: James! 

WhAtSiNtHeCaNiStEr: whoopsie

Dokidok: I bet you main tracer 

Markimoo: no widow/ashe main bitch

Wholesome: Language! 

Jägerchen: stop ghosting chat rook

Wholesome: Never! 

Dokidok: pff, bet you can't hit headshots for shit

Markimoo: oh rlly? 1v1 me right now bitch

Dokidok: your on! 

weeb: and off they go... 

 

*Baguette -> Stabystab 9:30pm*

Baguette: hey is your mission over yet? 

Stabystab: Yes, we just border to head home an hour ago. 

Baguette: how did it go? Your not hurt are you? 

Stabystab: no I'm fine. A little banged up but other than that fine. 

Baguette: when you get back I'm gonna cuddle the shit out if you. 

Stabystab: Look forward to it. 

Baguette: <3

Stabystab: <3

 

*Festive Hoes 12:09am*

Markimoo: ha suck it @Dokidok

Dokidok: that doesn't count! It never happened

Markimoo: salty much? 

Dokidok: no! 

Wholesome: Guy's, it's 12 in the morning please go to bed. 

Jägerchen: in other words, STOP BLOWING UP OUR PHONES AND SLEEP. 

Markimoo: jeez ok

Dokidok: don't think it's over mark! That was just a warm up game. 

Markimoo: whatever helps you sleep at night


End file.
